Welcome to my class "How a Sheltie GETS EVEN! 101"
I am your teacher for this class, Mr. Lassiter Chase the Sheltie (aka Lassie).
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| Lassie laying in his bed. |
As you know, humans make mistakes. "To err is human" that's what they say.
My Mommy is no exception to that rule. GASP!
Yes, Mommy made a mistake earlier this week and it really ticked me off! Butt don't worry, I will teach you the fine art of
How a Sheltie GETS EVEN!
So, everyone grab a snack and take some mental notes if you will....
It all started earlier this week. Mommy was in a hurry to get to work butt she forgot to get something out of the bedroom end table she "needed". So, she moved my dog bed aside and she went to grab something out of the end table by her bed, wished us a nice day, and rushed off to Smurfette the Car and headed to work.
I provide you with Exhibit A.
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| EXHIBIT A - Dog Bed turned the wrong way! It's supposed to be directly in front of the end table with the mirror on it. |
Please note, Mommy moved my bed at what an
87 degree angle or something like that! And she did NOT put it back into it's proper place when she left for work.
I made do the best I could all day with my bed turned sideways like that! It bugged me A LOT. (I can't for the life of me think of that saying -- fung shway or something -- where everything needs to have a balance and be in its place.)
Anyway, it was the longest day ever, butt finally Mommy came home from work, we ate, played, read blogs, watched TV and called it a day.
Came night time, I (Lassie) was the first one in the bedroom. A Sheltie needs optimum hours of sleep so that he/she can be "On Call" and protect the Mommy during all hours of the night...and I needed to do surveillance of the bedroom to give it the "All Clear" before Mommy entered it... so, that's why I go to bed first. (Mommy is single, so, I (Lassie) am a little over-protective of her at times! Those dust-bunnies better not mess with MY Mommy at night -- or they will have ME to deal with!)
Anyway, since my bed was still turned the wrong way here is a list of things a Sheltie can do to rectify the situation by GETTING EVEN!
1. Lay in the human's bed!
I decided to lay on Mommy's bed, because I was SURE that the Mommy would notice me laying in her spot and then she would remember that she forgot to turn my dog bed in it's right place and that she would fix it!
WRONG!
Mommy was so tired butt was able to notice me in her spot on her bed. So, she decided to crawl up her bed from the foot of the bed and then she fell asleep!
2. Pretend you are an alien life form in hopes the human will sense something and jump out of bed!
I was giving her the MOST EVIL EYES -- butt she couldn't see me in the dark. She also didn't hear or sense me breathing rather LOUDLY as well.
How was I going to communicate to Mommy that SHE FORGOT to move my bed back.
3. Make some noise!
I jumped off the bed and paced back and forth --- Nothing! Mommy didn't wake up!
I did a round of house checks to make sure everything was in order -- made sure the floor creeked a couple of times -- stepped on a squeeky toy -- did the Mommy wake up - NO!
I was really ticked off by now. However, I wasn't gonna give up GETTING EVEN!
See, I like to sleep with my bed facing that direction in the room because (A) I can keep an eye on the Mommy (there is a mirror behind me in the end table so I got "eyes behind the back of my head" so to speak) (B) I can keep an eye on the door and (C) I can keep an eye on Benji.
See Benji sleeps in his dog bed at the foot of the bed. Since I am HEAD OF HOUSE, I sleep with my dog bed at the head of the bed.
Benji is tricky sometimes, and tries to get an extra cuddle out of Mommy -- so, I usually have to jump on the bed and outsmart him -- because if any Sheltie is getting any extra cuddles out of the Mommy, it is going to be ME -- because I have seniority!
Anyway, back to the story...
It was getting late and the Mommy was still sound asleep.
4. Give an Inch and take an entire Sheltie!
Enough of Mr. Nice Sheltie! It was time to get Mommy to wake up and move my bed in the right direction. It was about 2 am and I felt as though Mommy had enough sleep - so I jumped up on the bed. Squeezed on the edge of the bed. Then I flopped my butt down on Mommy's face. She blew the dog hair off her face and rolled over a bit.
I didn't stop there, then I wiggled my butt even further by Mommy's face.
She rolled over even more.
Next I decided to lay sideways on the bed instead of laying up and down. I kept kicking out my Sheltie foot at her, so she had to keep moving over to make more room for me!
Before you knew it, Mommy was completely on the edge of the bed.
5. Hog the Covers!
Butt wait -- I strategically positioned myself so that I was hogging all the blankets! Mommy was trying to pull the blanket out from under me with all her might (she is a whimp) it was pathetic.
Finally Mommy said, "Lassie move over -- my foot is cold."
I kept kicking my foot at her side and wouldn't budge. Besides I saw she had socks on -- so how cold could she be.
Mommy finally wiggled herself into a Candy Cane position so she could cover her foot with what little blanket she had, and hunched the rest of herself in a curved position -- but then, her right shoulder wasn't covered by the blanket.
I thought in my head -- I WIN -- she's gotta get up now.
WRONG!
6. The Cold Nose - The Ultimate Weapon!
Mommy thought she had me outsmarted and used the extra pillow on the bed to cover her right shoulder that wasn't covered. I said -- Enough is Enough! And I went over to her face and I put my cold nose right on her cheek. So she squirmed her head right off the pillow.
Finally, Mommy was awake enough that she got up. And that's when she noticed my bed was facing the wrong way! She mumbled an apology and she fixed my bed at like 4 AM. Which left her about an hour more to sleep before work.
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| EXHIBIT B - Catching up on my shut-eye while Benji takes watch on the day shift! |
So class, I hope you have all taken some good notes in case your human's mess up your sleeping schedule!
In summary, a cold dog's nose comes in really handy sometimes! Oh and don't mess with a Sheltie!
Have a great night!
Lassie and Benji the Shelties.
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